Rain and some introspection

Allow me, to introspect in public. 

Didn't that just sound stupid and ironic? Introspect...IN...public!!! Hahaha! 

But the blunder is committed so, nevertheless, let me share these little musings the rain has brought to me. Because the rain's effects on me include wanting to be alone and willing to ponder, and even wonder! 

So I thought about the future; I longed for love; I suffered apprehension; I felt thankful and blessed; and I found a new dream!

The future. A conversation inside a train with a friend, made me realize that a good and bright future doesn't mean prestigious! It's self-fulfillment. And it's also making the people dearest to you proud.

The longing. Hey! Don't blame me! I swear it's the rain and how its coldness and gloominess sometimes seep into your heart. It made me fret and think "I'm alone. I'm alone. I'm alone...Why the HECK am I alone?!" But I'm much better now. Luckily, this doesn't last long, it's only a passing.

The apprehension. I doubt myself. Maybe it's my fault to easily jump into unwarranted conclusions. Or maybe, I'm just putting up my walls, or I'm over thinking, or I'm too afraid to try. Honestly, I still don't know. 

The blessing. I realized that I'm actually living one of my dreams. It's a REALITY that I earn money from writing! And wow! Who would've thought that I'll actually be able to do that? When I dreamed of becoming a writer, what were the odds that I'll really become a writer? But I did it, because I want it. So SURREAL! And I thank God for this blessing. In return, I'll learn more and have more experiences. I won't stop. I'm only down here when there is still the top. 

The new dream. As much as I want to be a writer, then a photographer, I just finally came into admittance that I also want to be a radio disc jockey! Alas! I'm a radio person (I could live without TV but not without radio), and every time I hear DJs doing their thing, there's always this tiny voice whispering in my head: "I wanna do that too." So there. I want to, I WANT TO! Haha! But perhaps later in life, I need to be a photographer first! (beams!) 

It WAS indeed a roller coaster week. Thanks rain. This is why I always liked you--the  bittersweet melancholia and solitude!   

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I also pray to Papa God that He give our fellow Filipinos--whose suffering from the tragedies and difficulties Typhoon Pedring left them--the strength to keep on fighting and continue living. Thank you dear Lord. I know You'll hear me.