Shitty Tranquility

I was at the forlorn fire exit of this old battered building, with no one but myself and something of a creation that kills lives. 


I was smoking again, after almost a year. The moment I got my first paycheck, and encashed it much to my content, what I bought was a pack of cigarette and a lighter. Hah, I wanted to reward myself and that's the most undecent thing that I came up with. I just thought that I needed a "real" break, since I've been the pet of the big boss. And being the pet miraculously translates to being his "alila." I am doing more than I should be doing. End of topic. 


So there, at the forlorn exit, inhaling the crappy smoke and exhaling it almost immediately, I felt so good. Being alone, and just being alone. Looking at the not-very-lovely sight that was old windows, rusty stairs and floors, and a stupid wall, it was quite relaxing. 


I just need that kind of moments, when I get the luxury of being "blank."